The ketubah for same-sex weddings
The ketubah is a lasting and powerful document, signifying the love and commitment between two people. This makes it a very popular tradition with gay and lesbian couples who are getting married or having a commitment ceremony. There are two ways a same-sex couple can create a ketubah:
How to create a same-sex ketubah
The modern nature-theme artwork used in ketubah designs makes them perfectly-suited for a same-sex ketubah. All you need to do is select the text you want, and select sure that the lines were you sign the ketubah are labeled correctly (for example: Bride/Bride, Groom/Groom, Parnter/Partner, or Beloved/Beloved).
- For the English text I offer a number of texts (named Commitment 1-3) that were written specifically for same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies. Or if you prefer the language of any of my other English texts, I'd be happy to remove any gender-specific words like "bride" and "groom", free of charge.
- For the Hebrew text I offer two options. The "Commitment Hebrew" text is based on the traditional language used in Reform ceremonies, replacing the words "bride" and "groom" with the Hebrew word for "partner". Or, you could use the translation of any of my English texts, for which I'd remove the gender-specific words for free.
The last thing you need to do is make sure that the lines where you sign the ketubah are labeled correctly: for example, using Bride/Bride, Groom/Groom, Parnter/Partner, or Beloved/Beloved.
How to create a Foundation Covenant
In 2009, wedding planner Bernadette Smith and celebrant Cindy Matchett approached me to help them create a new tradition for same-sex weddings: the Foundation Covenant. The Foundation Covenant is inspired by the tradition of the ketubah and the Quaker wedding certificate, and it is signed not only by the couple, but by everyone attending the ceremony. You can learn more about how the Foundation Covenant integrates into a same-sex wedding ceremony on Bernadette's blog.
At its heart, the Foundation Covenant is a ketubah with a few significant changes.
- You can start with any of the ketubah designs I offer.
- For the English text, I have written some texts (Foundation Covenant 1 and 2) with Cindy's help specifically for the Foundation Covenant. Or if you prefer, you could also choose any of my other texts -- I'd be happy to remove any gender-specific words like "bride" and "groom", free of charge.
- If you choose, you can also add a Hebrew text. My "Commitment Hebrew" text is based on the traditional language used in Reform ceremonies, replacing the words "bride" and "groom" with the Hebrew word for "partner". Or, you could use the translation of any of my English texts, for which I'd remove the gender-specific words for free.
- Signatures: with a Foundation Covenant, only the couple officially sign the text, signifying their acceptance of the wedding vows. However after the ceremony, all of the guests are encouraged to sign as well, as celebrating their witnessing of the marriage. Therefore the artwork is printed on a large sheet of paper, leaving plenty of room for everyone to sign. On my order form, this option is in the "Signatures" section at the bottom.
To get started, select the design for your Foundation Covenant, or contact me if you'd like to talk more about your options.